Enough!

My blog has become a BLAH-g. I am so depressing! It's time to get over the crapola of life and focus on what is good, real and here and now. Things that are not fleeting and I can always take hold of and love, so here's a list. Feel free to add your own:

Livvy-Shw is trying and tests me often, but Lord, when you're laying with her and she hugs up and tells you she loves you-everything just melts away.

Jason-This month we will have been together for what, 13 years?! WOW. He is still Jason. He's pretty awesome. He loves me more now than he ever has and is just a great dad and husband.

Church-I love my church. I love being there. It brings me peace that I've never known before. It's like I walk in and all the bad stuff starts to leak out of my head and by the time I walk out-it's gone. I love my pastor and though I often feel like a child in my spiritual immaturity, knowing that I am learning and having this child-like hope and love is something else. My sister, Brother in Law and Jason have also started going with me and that in itsself is a wonderful blessing.

My friends- The folks who KNOW when something is wrong even when I am trying like 10000 % to cover it up. God love em. I love those girls and guys. I have one for what seems like every occasion. One who makes me laugh till I wanna pee, one who always, always knows the right things to say, one who is SO smart that although I feel a little dumb sometimes that I truly enjoy his wisdom and insight, some that are goofy and hilarious, one that is just loving as loving can be, one that is a girls girl and knows what I need sometimes, one that is far away but her love spans the states and miles through the phone and who I know prays for me and who I love and miss dearly, one who is close and who's parenting skills make mine wanna go sit in the corner and cry but who is so open and awesome that I have taken SO much from. I love them one and all.

My family- One side of which has seen a terrible, unbelievably awful thing happen to them this last month, but stays faithful to one another and is lifting each other up when they want to fall down and forget it all, they are so wonderful and though my heart absolutely breaks for them, they are tough as nails and I know they'll be ok. My mom who is the BEST mom ever. Period. Don't argue with me, it could get ugly. My step dad who I adore for making my mom feel like the wonderful woman she is. My brother who has overcome so many emotional and mental obstacles to be the awesome and fun person he is today. My sister who really, let's face it, is my best friend. She gives it straight. She hurts for me, laughs for and with me and just loves me. I often look at Valerie and think-we are so different in so many ways that if I weren't related to her, I would never know her, but because I do-I am SO thankful to have her. Her wisdom, her humor, her honesty, all of it. She's just Bev and it's good stuff. Matt, Valerie's husband who I can call and chat like a school kid with for an hour discussing any matter of BS and who will totally humor me with it. He's funny and smart as all get out. My granny who for her little things I still adore. She's the only granny I got and I love her to bits. Uncle Dave for his silliness, all my cousins on BOTH sides that I love and don't see nearly enough. The childhood memories make me laugh all the time. My Aunt Paula who I feel like held me up through one of the toughest moments of my life, my Aunt Margie, Uncle Ben, Uncle David and Aunt Joanne that I miss and don't get to see nearly enough.....The list just goes on and on. This list alone is more than I deserve in terms of love and sacrifice. I can only hope they know how much I love them too.

My work-I.have.a.job. In this day and time, that statement says it all. Thank GOD. It is tough sometimes and I often let it rule over my emotions too much, but I have it and for the most part, I do love it. Love who I work with, love what I do. Hate when I mess it up because I love it that much. I pray I continue to have this job.

Well, that is the immediate things I can think of and like the Grinch, just typing it is making my cold heart swell with joy. For all of you reading it, even if not mentioned, know you are so loved by me. Let's savor 2009 together and make it good. No dwelling on the bad or the past. Take the present and the future and make it the best it can be. God bless and love to ALL.